Why did we want to grow up?

When childhood ends, adulthood begins. I’ve found they hold many similarities. We choose to ignore them, for various reasons.

As a child, we rely on kisses and comfort to make our problems feel better. Everything is better after a hug from mommy or daddy.

As an adult, kisses and hugs give way to darker things like drugs, alcohol, or cutting. Though secretly we all just want to be held and told everything is going to be okay.

As a child, we’re led to believe adulthood is the greatest thing on earth. We cannot wait to grow up. We’re free, we’re alive.

As adults, we search for the feeling of freedom, and we envy our childhood. We wonder why on earth we ever wanted to grow up.

As children, we make believe, and pretend there are magical worlds filled with dragons and fairies.

As adults, we play pretend, too. We pretend we’re happy, and that everything is okay. We hide behind our fake smiles, and cover our broken hearts with laughter we don’t mean.

As children, insults didn’t stick around long. We had better things to do.

Adults carve every insult or negative thing into their skin like a slice from a razorblade.

I wish I could go back. I wish I didn’t have to pretend.


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